


Random Thoughts

by DGCatAniSiri



Category: Heroes (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 07:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18048095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DGCatAniSiri/pseuds/DGCatAniSiri
Summary: Matt's having dreams of him and Mohinder. And then the actual Mohinder begins to reenact them.





	Random Thoughts

The first time Matt pictured peeling off the clothes from Mohinder’s body, he’d chalked it up to loneliness – there weren’t exactly a variety of other options for him, his coworkers being off-limits so far as he was concerned, wanting to keep work and home separate, for a multitude of reasons, leaving him with Mohinder as the only other adult he consistently spent his time around outside of the work setting. He’d also figured that there was some additional... issues, lingering from Janice’s cheating and the divorce that made Mohinder – who was very much a man – seem more attractive than any random woman.

Matt was less concerned about what this meant for his sexuality – his Aunt Marcie had a “friend” who’d come with her to every holiday, wedding, and funeral for the last twenty years, not even getting to the fact that he was now living in New York. And there was the recent near-death experience because of Sylar. He didn’t need to have the freak-out over his sexuality, there were other, more serious matters on his plate, all things considered.

Still, it was surprising to him that Mohinder slowly began edging out the various fantasy women from his mind. Sure, they were nothing but a convenient imagining for him to get his rocks off, but... Well, even without the sexuality crisis, it was surprising to see the old mental images fade away, the visions that had long been his go-to for fantasies, the gentle curves, the soft breasts... all of that was slipping away, leaving just this very attractive, very firmly masculine man. 

It wasn’t even just images of Mohinder acting out fantasies on Matt. He’d started to wonder about what it would be like to return the favor to the other man. Even if he wasn’t having a sexuality crisis, that was something that seemed pretty solid in favor of the idea that the fantasies weren’t simply about him getting his rocks off. He’d never really considered the idea of sucking off another man as being all that sexy. Though, admittedly, the more he thought about it – at least with Mohinder – he was coming around to the idea.

And, when the fantasies had been happening for a couple of months, Matt had to admit there might be something to them beyond just convenience.

It didn’t help that he’d started to catch himself staring at Mohinder at breakfast, while he made pancakes or omelets or whatever for breakfast, as he played with Molly, as he talked about some science thing, some project for the Company (who seemed eager to pounce on his intelligence and capabilities, even as Matt and Mohinder both felt skeptical at best about their willingness to abide by their agreements of his adoptive makeshift family being off-limits on all counts). It was a perfectly mundane morning kind of thing that drew his attention. 

By the time that the image of Mohinder, massaging his hard cock, staring Matt in the eyes, became the dominant image in his fantasies, Matt finally had to admit, it was definitely more than just another warm body. God, at the right point, just the thought of Mohinder’s smile, those big brown eyes turned on him, as if he was the brightest point in Mohinder’s universe... It could make him harder than he’d been in a very long time. And it made his heart beat faster, even when he wasn’t just trying to get his rocks off.

So yeah. Mohinder featuring in Matt’s fantasies, for sex and possibly even as a romantic possibility. It had become a thing. He supposed there was some blame to in the fact that Mohinder was co-parenting Molly with him, that they were actively sharing a home, spending most of the time they had not eaten up by work together, but... Well, while he wouldn’t trade Molly for anything, he was man enough to recognize that it wasn’t simply Mohinder being the only other available adult around him. Molly being involved in his life wasn’t some sign that he was trying to create some kind of family unit out of the situation he’d been thrown into, that he just wanted Mohinder because he thought that they should be together if they were raising a child together. It was more than that, though maybe he wasn’t so good with putting it into words. 

And then... He started to see something with Mohinder. Glances, looks that lingered a little longer... Matt had started to wonder if the feeling might be mutual.

That’d definitely be nice – Matt had always appreciated having a partner, romantically speaking, the gentle comfort of someone offering that affection... If he were completely honest, it had probably been what had kept the marriage with Janice together as long as it had been, that there was someone to come home to. Granted, that had fallen apart, which was probably what made Matt feel uneasy with the idea of trying to move these ideas into reality instead of just fantasy. Better to make do with the images in his mind than face the disappointment of the reality failing him.

Having tucked Molly into bed, glad that the Nightmare Man was a long gone thing of the past, Matt settled into his bed, letting his mind wander off.

***

_He was busy with paperwork. Being a detective meant that he wasn’t stuck on beat and patrol, but it did mean more reports. As he let out a sigh, a pair of solid hands came firmly to rest on his shoulders, giving them a gentle, affectionate squeeze._

_“You’re tense,” a sultry voice whispers in his ear. Mohinder’s soft tone sent a shiver down Matt’s spine, a jolt straight to his cock. And, pressing his back against the warm body behind him, he could also feel a similar bulge in Mohinder’s pants, pressing against him._

_“Care to help me with that?” Matt asked, gently smiling. Almost immediately, Mohinder began massaging his shoulders, working at the various knots that were making him so tense. The skilled hands began to slide from just kneading at his shoulders, moving towards the buttons on Matt’s shirt..._

***

_Matt was at the oven, making... something. Some meal or another, the food didn’t really matter to him. Not once he felt Mohinder’s arms wrap around him from behind. He smiled as Mohinder nuzzled the back of his neck._

_“Busy?” Mohinder murmured against Matt’s skin._

_Already flicking off the oven, Matt reached back, tangling a hand in Mohinder’s hair. “I was. But then along came this distraction...”_

_“A distraction?”_

_“Mm hm... A very sexy distraction...”_

***

_Showers. Showers led to nudity. They had to, you took off your clothes to take one. That’s how this worked._

_Of course, when Matt entered the shower, followed by Mohinder, both of them having shucked their clothes... Well, the shower led to nudity, but there was plenty of other things that were being led to right now._

_Mohinder was handsy, touching Matt repeatedly, caressing his skin, fingers dancing across his body. As the shower spray flicked on, Mohinder gently spun him around, looking at him with those warm, gentle, soft brown eyes._

_“Matthew...” he said softly, making Matt’s cock twitch. God, his voice... Matt was sometimes worried he’d come just from hearing Mohinder say his name. Before Matt could rasp out a response, Mohinder had lowered himself, delivering a flurry of gentle butterfly kisses to his chest, glancing up to Matt with those warm, gorgeous eyes, before he-_

***

Matt hated his alarm clock with a fiery passion.

***

That night, Matt had to deal with some paperwork at home for real. He preferred to keep the lines between his home life and work life separate whenever possible, but sometimes he really couldn’t stay at the office. As much as home was a refuge from the world, it was still often a better place to work, particularly if he waited until after he and Mohinder had gotten Molly to bed (sure, she was old enough to go to bed on her own, but she was also reaching the point where she was testing how late was too late for her to be up). 

As he poured over a report of some petty theft (this was New York City, surely he should be able to pawn this kind of drudge work off on someone lower on the totem pole, him reading this report was almost an insult, not that he’d say as much directly to the superiors who’d assigned it to his caseload), he sighed and rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was going to start needing reading glasses, and Christ, he was too young for that, wasn’t he?

Abruptly, a pair of hands settled on his shoulders. “You know, I think I can hear your blood pressure spiking. From across the room.” Mohinder’s voice was soothing all on its own, and Matt took a moment just to bask in the fact that the other man was, unprompted, beginning to gently rub at his shoulders.

It took his brain a few moments to realize that the gesture was more intimate than one would expect from one male roommate to another. And, while he wasn’t complaining, he also had to convince himself not to read too much into it – he and Mohinder had lived together now for the better part of a year, Mohinder could just be making an effort to be friendly.

Though... Friendly didn’t normally involve the light groping that this was threatening to turn into.

Matt turned slightly, just enough to look Mohinder in the eye. In that moment, it was as if a spell had been broken, and Mohinder pulled back. He offered up a smile to Matt. “You really should try to relax some more,” Mohinder said, sounding for all the world as if he hadn’t just been digging his fingers into Matt’s shoulders.

It could have been simple friendliness. Matt knew that certain parts of his anatomy would have been happy to have it turn deeper. 

“I, uh... I try. City that never sleeps, you know?” Matt said, trying to get his balance back. It wasn’t exactly good manners to let someone know how aroused you were by their gesture of kindness.

“Still, Matthew. You should try to relax a little more. Perhaps we should take Molly somewhere, take a vacation, away from the city.”

Matt couldn’t help but laugh at that idea. “The Company’s offering you vacation time, now?” He could imagine how that conversation might go, where Mohinder made a reasonable request and whoever the Company’s revolving door put in the position of the big chair would make a big show of being personable while talking Mohinder out of the idea.

And Mohinder seemed equally aware of the likelihood of such a request happening. “Not that I entirely disagree, but it couldn’t hurt to try. I have done good work with them, at least for a given value on the subject. It’s worth considering, is all.” He flashed a smile at Matt, and again, Matt tried to still a raging hardon at the sight. “Perhaps we could do something special for Molly’s spring break. At least, we could ask our respective superiors.”

True enough – for Molly’s sake, if nothing else. “You’re not exactly wrong. Still, given the crap that they pull at the Company...” There were a lot of compromises and strings in play when it came to dealing with the Company, even knowing that Mohinder working with them acted as protection for Molly from them.

“As I said. It can’t hurt to try. And you should still try to relax. You know the paperwork will still be there tomorrow.”

“Yeah, and it’ll probably have bred by then...”

***

There was a change in the air around the apartment the last few days. Matt couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was, just that he could sense a very real charge in the atmosphere, particularly when he and Mohinder shared space. He couldn’t help but have moments where he thought that maybe his little fantasies of something happening between him and Mohinder had more basis in fact, that, if he moved a little closer to Mohinder, he might get to act them out.

When that happened, he clamped down on the thought entirely – he had too good of a thing happening with Mohinder and Molly to let his dick get in the way of it. Sure, he was making do with just his hand these days, but sex was not the most important thing in the world. In the world Matt Parkman was orbiting, Molly was the most important thing. Screwing up the relationship between her two ‘dads’ would upset that.

Even if there was the possibility that it might encourage her dads to have a more traditional relationship in them actually being romantically together... Okay, he really needed to stop that kind of thinking.

He’d started cooking something, pretty much just for the sake of distracting himself. Cooking was a bit of a zen activity for him, letting himself slip into focusing on just making sure everything came out right. It was his escape from the craziness around him, which had only increased since the whole ‘powers’ thing had started. 

“That’s quite a bit of food, Matthew,” came Mohinder’s voice, unexpectedly, pulling Matt from his cooking tunnel vision. He realized that he was probably overdoing it, having spaghetti cooking in the pot and halfway through prepping a tray of lasagna for the oven. To say nothing of the cookie doughs that was in the bowl, ready to go on the tray once the oven was freed up.

Yeah, he’d overdone it, gotten in the zone. “Well, leftovers are never exactly a bad thing, right?”

“I’m sure Molly will appreciate your efforts. For the next month,” Mohinder said with a grin. He moved around the small kitchen to steal some of the cookie dough, and Matt stiffened – in more ways than one. 

Mohinder had pretty much popped his personal bubble, and... Matt was having a flashback to that dream fragment, of Mohinder sliding up behind him... Okay, he was thinking of all of them, really. He remembered how they’d gone, and...

As much as he enjoyed the concept of Mohinder, pressed up against him, he also had a chilling thought that ended his erection. Because his power could implant thoughts. And now... now he was living out those dreams.

Had he implanted these thoughts in Mohinder’s mind?

He did his best to effectively dance around Mohinder, doing his best not to brush against him and get more... ideas. “Uh, look... I just remembered something at the office, can you make sure that this... doesn’t burn?”

Mohinder blinked, surprised at his sudden desire to get moving. But he recovered quickly enough, nodding. “Of course,” he said, moving to the oven. Matt, meanwhile, was practically already out the door.

***

Matt needed to walk, to get his thoughts in order. Fortunately, if New York City was good for anything, it was being alone in a crowd. He easily slipped into the faceless masses, recognizing that he could probably talk all of this out verbally to himself and no one would give him any attention. Though it wasn’t exactly bright to let yourself openly acknowledge your crazy in public all the same.

Since it had manifested, his power had been useful for a lot of things. Even considering that it was a massive breach of boundaries, he had used it on criminals and witnesses. The first he’d used to find the facts that could prove what they’d done, the later to help get the information they had seen but didn’t know how important it was.

When his power had grown to include implanting thoughts... He’d gotten freaked out. The effort was difficult, sure, but so was anything to start with. The more he did it, the easier it could be. And the easier it could be, the more likely it could be abused. 

And yet... Now he had to wonder just what he might have been doing with that ability unconsciously.

There had been enough similarity in those two moments with Mohinder to remind him of the dreams he’d had. It was eerie, and unsettling. Because what if he’d sent those thoughts to Mohinder? And he wasn’t like Angela Petrelli had been – that lady was stone cold, prepared for just about anything that she came across. But Mohinder... He was, at his heart, a gentle soul, and, more than that, the dreams Matt had had about them had happened at night, when he wouldn’t have been in any kind of a position to resist them being planted.

God, had he made Mohinder become attracted to him? Could he even be sure? Would Mohinder recognize if he’d planted these thoughts in his mind? After all, Matt had thought he’d been straight before he’d started picturing Mohinder and him doing things – there was the possibility that this was all coincidence.

Once is an accident, twice is coincidence, three is a pattern. He’d had three fragments of dreams involving Mohinder, and two had been fairly close to being realized, within any kind of reasonable margin of error. He could just wait to see if the third one happened in real life as well, and that would be a pretty clear indication that he’d planted something in Mohinder’s mind.

Of course, that third one had also been one of the hottest images Matt had yet come up with in his fantasies. The part of him that feared what he might do with the corrupting potential of his power also feared that, if they started that, he might not stop. Because why bother with the difficulties of actually interacting and convincing people when you could just plant the thought in their mind? Make them do what you wanted?

And Molly had called his father “the nightmare man.” If he didn’t make the conscious decision to avoid that line... He’d be worse. He’d be like Sylar. He could be worse than Sylar.

He needed to talk to Mohinder. Granted, it was hard to believe ‘hey, so I might have unintentionally planted the thought of you being attracted to me’ would be a good conversation starter, but... Well, he had to try.

***

Matt returned from his walk to the apartment and found Mohinder sitting at his desk, working at some bit of paperwork that Matt could almost feel his eyes glazing over just looking at it. “There you are.” A glance at the clock on the wall made Matt realize that he’d been thinking things over for a good few hours. Well, it had been a heavy subject. “Molly called. Lisa Horowitz invited her to sleepover tonight. Since it’s a Friday, and you weren’t here, I told her it was all right.”

That was probably for the best – however things shook out with Mohinder, it was probably best if she wasn’t here while they got it aired out.

“Is something wrong?” Mohinder asked, after Matt had been silent for a few moments.

“I... yeah. Actually. Or, maybe... It might be.”

Now, Mohinder was concerned. Not that he didn’t have reason for it, of course. He made sure he was looking right at Matt, and... God, him staring at Matt, the compassion, concern, and sympathy (was affection in there, too? Was it genuine or implanted?)... That this conversation had to be had was bad enough, but... It hurt how much that he seemed to genuinely trust Matt.

It was hard to really start the conversation. Was the clock ticking louder than it had been when Matt came in? It was a digital clock, but Matt could swear that it was ticking. 

He was definitely stalling. And Mohinder was noticing. “Matthew?”

“I... Does my ability ever... freak you out?” Maybe that would be a safe place to start. 

It was obvious that Mohinder hadn’t expected that question, but he seemed to recognize that it was leading to something else. So he considered it for a moment. “It is... sometimes concerning, in all honesty. I know you mean well, so as unsettling as I might feel about the concept of telepathy, I believe that, in your hands it’s a tool you’ll use sparingly and responsibly. That you use it for the benefit of others, not yourself.”

Ow. As if Matt didn’t feel he’d crossed lines as it was.

Mohinder looked at him with a gentle smile... Did he have to make this harder? “Why do you ask?”

Matt could only dig himself deeper at this point. There really was no way out of this kind of hole. He sighed, hanging his head. “I... need to admit something to you. Something that... might change how you think about me.”

“What is it, Matthew?”

Taking a steadying breath, Matt tried to ready himself, as if he was ever going to be ready for dropping this on Mohinder. “I... I think that my ability might be... influencing you. I... had a couple of dreams the other night, and... And then they seemed almost... reenacted. These were... dreams that involved you.”

There was a moment as Mohinder took that in. He was silent, considering things. “Are you... certain that these... reenactments are not simply... coincidence?”

The scientific mind at work... “There’s... a chance, I suppose. But... The similarities are... so vivid, and...” It was hard to get the words out, but... Well, he had to just make it clear. “...And they’re not exactly... platonic.”

Another long, protracted silence. “Meaning...?”

And another sigh – it was out there now, might as well just make it all clear. “Meaning that... I’m attracted to you, Mohinder. And... I’m worried that it’s spilled over to you.”

That made Mohinder blink, clearly not having expected that. “I... see.”

“I mean, I never intended to... I’m genuinely scared, that... That somehow I’m making you do this, against your will.”

“What is it, exactly, that I’m doing?”

“The... the way that you’ve touched me lately... It hasn’t felt entirely... platonic.”

Mohinder mulled that for a moment. “So... You are concerned that your attraction to me has created a mutual attraction in me for you. You’re concerned about how your ability may have recently planted the idea in my head that I should be attracted to you, because you are attracted to me. Have I managed to sum up your fears?”

Hearing such a clinical recitation, Matt wasn’t sure what to think about how Mohinder was taking this – it certainly wasn’t what he’d expected. He’d expected anger, he’d expected to be told to get out, to do something to protect his mind from the unwanted intrusions. It took a moment for Matt to formulate a response. “Well... yeah. That really... I don’t want to be making you feel things you... I mean, these are my feelings, and I’m not... I wouldn’t want you to feel like you were forced to...”

“I understand, Matthew. Now, I want you to understand, I am doing this purely of my own volition, and not because of any influence you may or may not have... let spill over.” With that, and before Matt could ask what he meant by it, Mohinder rose from his seat and crossed the room, pulling Matt into a firm, deep kiss. His hands came to rest on Matt’s shoulders, a gentle pressure that said that he was firmly aware of who he was kissing, and even guiding Matt closer to Mohinder’s body, as if saying that he wanted Matt to understand that this was what he wanted.

Matt’s head spun as Mohinder pulled back, a gentle, even slightly teasing smile on his lips. To say he was confused was to put it mildly. “I... Mohinder...?”

“Matthew, I have been attracted to you before these last few days. How could I not? You welcomed Molly into your heart and home, and me along with her, even though you had no reason to do so.”

Matt shook his head. “It was the right-”

“-thing to do. I’m aware that’s how you feel. That’s also not something that, I believe, a lot of people in the world would act was such a simple decision. You have made us both a part of your family. You have made a family with the two of us, rather than just let us be... people who’ve been thrown together by circumstance. Because I see how you look at us. Molly IS your daughter, and I am her father, right alongside you.” Mohinder slid a hand up to Matt’s face, gently rubbing at his cheekbone. “I know Molly wonders about us. She sees us both as her fathers, and as smart as she is... Maybe because she’s as smart as she is, she probably wonders why we aren’t like the parents of her friends, even though we apparently both have been busy pining for each other.”

“I... Wait, but... How long...?”

“At least a few months. Perhaps longer. You are... a very incredible man, Matthew. You’ve opened your heart to Molly, to myself...” Mohinder paused, thinking about what he was going to say next, as if it might scare Matt off. “Did it never occur to you that, rather than influencing my thoughts, you had been picking up on my own attraction to you?”

Well... no. It hadn’t. 

“I... No. It... It really didn’t.”

For a moment, Mohinder was silent, and there was a sad look on his face as he contemplated things. “You thought it was impossible for me to feel as you do? That I would, on my own, independent of any outside influence, come to the opinion that you’re an attractive man, who I would be happy to share my life with?”

“See, you say things like that, and I’m really thinking that this is because of some kind of influence on your mind,” Matt said, nervously chuckling, squirming slightly at the intensity of Mohinder’s gaze. He’d never anticipated that Mohinder could feel so strongly for him.

“Matthew.” Mohinder’s use of his name made Matt stop squirming, locking eyes, understanding that Mohinder was about to say something very important. “I have been attracted to you for some time. I even think it would be easy for these feelings to be more than mere physical or emotional attraction. You are an attractive man, and you have a beautiful heart. One that is open and accepting of... so much, clearly capable of so much love. Is it so unbelievable that someone would return that love?”

There was a silence between them again, and then Matt said what had been at the heart of it all. “Janice... My ex-wife...” She’d cheated on him, gotten pregnant with the child of the man she’d been having an affair with, and all because... He’d never really figured that out. Had it been because of her perception that he resented her success? Something else? He’d never really figured it out. Given everything that had happened from the last time he and Janice had been living together to when the divorce had finalized... He hadn’t really tried to learn what had driven them apart, just accepted it, accepted the collapse of life as he’d known it.

At the mention of his ex-wife, Mohinder scowled. “What she did... It left a scar.”

“More like a hole. She... I’d loved her, I wanted to have a family with her. And then... Everything just fell apart and...”

“And you came to believe that you weren’t going to find anyone who would fill that hole.” Matt could hear a flash of some uncharitable thoughts towards Janice in Mohinder’s mind, then, before he could say anything, heard Mohinder cut himself off. Mohinder then managed a soft smile. “You heard those thoughts, I take it?”

“Yeah.” Not that he didn’t understand where they’d come from. Still...

Before he could say anything about the thoughts, Mohinder was already moving forward. “It’s hard not to want to be angry at her, for hurting you like that. Because you deserve better than that pain. You deserve to be loved. You deserve happiness. And you certainly deserve to not second-guess your desire to experience these.” He leaned in close to Matt, pressing their foreheads together, eyes fluttering as his voice dipped. “I truly want to be at your side, showing you this, for as long as you’ll have me.”

The warmth in Mohinder’s voice was melting Matt’s reservations. “So... you’re sure that this is... all you? That you want to-”

“Matthew.” Mohinder’s voice shut him up. “Stop trying to talk me out of this. This is what we both want.” And, to prove his point, he met Matt’s lips in another firm, solid kiss, as if he were pouring all of his feelings into it to make sure that Matt got the point.

When Mohinder pulled back, Matt had to take a moment to come back to reality, because that kiss... He cleared his throat as he realized that Mohinder was now practically in his lap. “You know, there was another dream I had that we hadn’t reenacted.”

“Really? Do tell.”

“Well, it involved the shower, and... Maybe it’d be easier if I showed you...”


End file.
